So... where do I begin?! This post is long
overdue, and probably a shock to most of you. It's also the hardest thing i've ever had to write on my blog! Exactly 6 weeks ago today, I did something pretty big, something I’ve
wanted desperately for almost 10 years. I finally got a nose job after years of
absolutely despising my nose. Years of low self esteem and major confidence issues (despite regularly taking photos of myself, weird right?) - and I finally went and did it. Turns out you can buy confidence! Even though i'm still healing, the swelling has gone down considerably so I finally feel ready to announce it, something I really wanted to do - as a blogger I think it's important to be honest with your readers and i'm actually excited to share my journey with you all. I've already seen such a huge difference in myself, for once in my life it finally doesn't cross my mind when I go out in public. It feels very strange for it not to be a problem anymore! I hope that I can inspire even a few others who have had self esteem issues and are considering surgery to help that.
This wasn’t just a spur of the moment “ooh,
i’d love to get a nose job one day, lets go for it” – this was something that has eaten
me up inside since I was 12 years old and someone at school first told me my nose was big/ugly/weird. This was to correct a very obvious
problem – my nose was way too big in proportion to the rest of my face, it was horribly shaped, it
didn’t suit me and was extremely unflattering from certain angles. I was forever dreading those candid photos catching me at a bad angle, and I can
remember every single little comment people have made about my nose over the
years - and those kind of comments don’t go away. I'm sure some of you can relate - if someone picks at something you hate about yourself, you don't forget about it, ever! I was finally at a point in my
life when I was sick of being insecure, worrying about it wherever I went. I was completely ready for it, and with no work or uni commitments, I could take as much time as I needed to recover, and of course, could actually
afford to pay for it.
Personally, I think a nose job is so
different to any other kind of surgery. It’s smack bang on the middle of your
face, pretty much the first thing you see when you look at someone. It’s not
something you can hide under clothes, there’s no disguising it. One thing I could not stand was when I would moan and people would say "oh Lucy, your nose is fine!" "there's nothing wrong with your nose!" - this would honestly annoy me. Did I really spend 10 years of my life lacking self esteem, being depressed over my nose for you to tell me "it’s fine"? No. Don’t tell me my nose is fine when it absolutely isn’t - you have no idea.
Unfortunately I have my dad's genes - the Rance nose, as my family call it (my mum says at least you have your dad's long skinny legs, which is a fair point!) This issue hugely affected me as a person growing up. Over
the years I just became so obsessed with it that the more I succeeded with my blogging career, the more I lost confidence and developed crazy anxiety because I thought that's all people could see. I honestly thought it was the only thing people saw when they looked at me, and there was no persuading me otherwise! I wouldn't even believe my boyfriend when he told me I was "beautiful" - how silly is that? I never wanted anyone to look at me
from the side, never wanted anyone else to take photos of me, and as someone who pretty much takes photos of herself for a living (oh the life of a blogger) - this definitely made things difficult! Since having this done, i've already done so many photo shoots in full confidence, and am even opposed to a side profile photo now, which is something i'd never have done before (as silly as that sounds!)
Now most of you reading this who have
followed me for a while, in all honesty are probably thinking “what the hell is
she going on about?!” because obviously, I would never ever post a photo from a
bad angle! I became obsessed with getting that good selfie angle with the
flattering lighting. If you’ve never met me you probably thought my nose was
fine. I learned what worked for me, from angles to contouring, but it wasn’t
enough. I wanted to become a confident person and I knew that was never ever
going to happen unless I got my nose fixed.
Even I can agree that the above before picture isn't THAT bad - thanks to good lighting it actually looks ok here! But the change is pretty drastic. I had a lot done - the bump smoothed out to a slight curve (it was visible from the front as well as the side), the tip pushed up and rounded, and the columella (bit under the septum) reduced. I'm soo happy with the result so far - once it has healed more I will post some front view pictures, as it's still really swollen at the moment (which means major contouring every morning to try and disguise it!)
Even I can agree that the above before picture isn't THAT bad - thanks to good lighting it actually looks ok here! But the change is pretty drastic. I had a lot done - the bump smoothed out to a slight curve (it was visible from the front as well as the side), the tip pushed up and rounded, and the columella (bit under the septum) reduced. I'm soo happy with the result so far - once it has healed more I will post some front view pictures, as it's still really swollen at the moment (which means major contouring every morning to try and disguise it!)
After years of researching into rhinoplasty, I decided to go with an amazing company called Transform. My experience with them was perfect from start to finish, and in the next few weeks I’ll be documenting my whole nose job journey - from the first consultation, to pain, recovery, bruising and scarring - which I hope will help out those who are going through the same thing, but also to give a real, honest diary from a normal gal. Cosmetic surgery isn’t always about being “fake” – sometimes the issue is so deep that it literally changes your life once you get it done. Already I feel so much more confident in myself, which is something I haven’t felt, ever. I'm still months from being fully healed but I am super happy with the side profile, which was always my biggest hate!
I will update you all soon.
XX
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